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Hey Joe, great post as always. As the others above have mentioned, I appreciate how personal you get in your writing pieces. I meant to comment on this when you first posted it, but work and other responsibilities took me away from Substack and writing in general.

The timing of this post is what struck me the most. I just lost my father to a battle with cancer around Christmas time. Some similar reflections entered my mind as I was navigating the loss of the man who taught me about masculinity and what it means to be a man.

After Death had not only stood on the doorstep, but actually passed the threshold of the door and took back what was only ever borrowed, I was left feeling, among sadness and other things, liberated and inspired. I no longer have to navigate my own manhood journey in relation to his (and he was not even really the type to place expectations on me). Additionally I now can honour the elements of manhood that I admire about my father and work to incorporate them into my own being. It’s strange to think that I could have had this outlook/mindset at any point in my journey but it took something as jarring and permanent as death to make me realize it.

Anyways, thank you again for your bravery in putting your honest self out there in your blog, as this post certainly hit home for me at a time when I was feeling very vulnerable.

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author

I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you coming back to share your insights.

I’m curious, what from your dad do you finding yourself wanting to embrace and integrate? I know of a few things, largely based on some positive memories, that I’m wanting to embody.

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My dad was a very softspoken and patient person. He was into traditional manly things like fishing, football, soccer, beer, home renovations etc. But he also had a softer side. He would rarely talk about his emotions, but would cry quietly while watching sad movies or commercials. He was also very affectionate with me as a child. He never shied away from hugs or kisses, and would often me he loved me. I think this softer side of him has had a profound impact on the man I've become. I hope to have children in the somewhat near future and I want to be able to provide them with the same level of kindness, patience and nurturing care that I received from him.

I also enjoy fishing, largely because of him, and some of my fondest memories of him are of quality time spent sitting by a river or lake casting out lures. I plan on picking up fishing as a more serious hobby going forward so that I may one day (hopefully) pass on the joy of this hobby to my own children.

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author

Thank you so much for sharing. That’s beautiful!

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Joe, this is incredible. Thanks for opening such a vulnerable window into what you're going through and where it's taking you too. I just started Iron John again and it's so damn powerful. I'm here if I can support at all

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Thanks my friend. I find myself picking up Iron John about once a year and refinding myself in the story, then I read that portion over and over till I’ve learned the lessons from that section. I think I get through maybe 20 pages a year at most.

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Jan 7Liked by Joe Burnham

Thanks man! I would welcome that after I finish my microdose protocol which will be in March.

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Jan 5Liked by Joe Burnham

I’m glad you took the time off , because it allowed you to present these powerful

Insights. It all speaks to me quite loudly. I’m about to start a journey into psychedelic medicine with the very intention of moving away from ego and toward my higher power - consciousness. Thank you!!

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author

Thanks Scott, and you’re welcome!

We should talk about scheduling a breathwork session. You can use just your breath and achieve an experience that’s very similar to other psychedelics.

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